Don't believe that guy....

“Is this your first?” the guy behind the lunch counter asked me. 

 “No,” I said with a warm smile, remembering the way Sam had to tell me goodbye 3 times before I left for my glucose test at the doctor’s office. 

“This is my third.” I felt kind of lost without the other 2 with me. Just as I was pondering how strangely quiet it was, the guy’s response came in loud and clear. 

 “You aren’t having anymore are you?” he asked with contempt and a look that said everything. 

 “You never know,” was my I-am-not-telling-a-stranger-my-business reply. My answer was cheerful but my smile had grown sticky and I was struggling to keep it there. 

 Then the guy, who had been precariously close to the line, made an all out dash, as he said, “Well, you know you can prevent that.” 

 Stunned and speechless, all I could manage was, “Well, if the Lord wants you to have another one, you will no matter what.” 

As I walked away, hovering between anger, embarrassment, and sadness at his audacity, I saw them coming in the distance, those clouds of doubt and fear. I knew what he was saying…. “Children- They aren’t worth it. They aren’t worth the time, the money, the energy, the career you could have had doing something ‘important.’ You are wasting your life.” 

The thoughts of how difficult my pregnancy had been filled my mind, followed quickly by how exhausted I had been with 2 preschoolers at home and how I was trying to prepare to home school next year. The gathering clouds grew heavier than ever with doubt and fear. As I muddled through my thoughts, the clouds settled in darkly overhead. I tried to eat my lunch but my appetite was gone. 

I began to wonder if I could really do this, if it really was worth it. Then I heard it. It was the voice of David’s granddaddy from months earlier when we had announced we were expecting for the third time. 

In a quiet moment, just the two of us, he said, “You know, Katie, the Bible says that children are a gift from the Lord. This child is a gift.” It was a sincere, intentional word. I know because he had repeated this to me with every pregnancy, but, for some reason, this time it meant more. I had quietly stuck his words down deep in the pocket of my heart not knowing how badly I would need them that day. 

Granddaddy had spoken the truth to me, the Word of Life, which will never pass away, even after this world and all it counts as important is nothing but dust. “Children are a gift from the Lord.” They are worth my time. They are worth my money. They are worth my energy. They ARE what is important. As I let the weight of these truths permeate my thoughts, faith-filled my heart and the fiery darts fell powerless to the ground. With the same power that calmed the storm at Jesus’ “Peace! Be Still!” these truths dispersed that heavy darkness from my mind and the light of the truth shown clearly again. 

 Just the other day I was talking with a new stay-at-home mom. “I need to know how you do it….this stay-at-home mom thing. How do you deal with still wanting people’s respect when they think what you do doesn’t matter?” An honest, loaded question that I think every stay-at-home mom has wrestled with at some point. In the moment, we were both busy with our kids so that there was no time for an answer, besides this was one I knew I would need to ponder. 

I have thought a great deal about what she said and decided that this is one of the first things I would say: 

Don’t believe that guy. Do not believe that guy. Pay no attention to the guy behind the counter. 

Believe the Truth. Your children are a gift. What you do all day is worth it. Believe that, my friend. 

Let those dark, doubtful clouds above you be blown away in the wake of the reality of these truths from God’s word and bask in the sun of His approval. His approval of how you are expending your time, your energy, your intelligence, your degree, and your creativity on your children, who are precious in His sight.

Maybe you, like my friend and I, have wrestled with this same question. Perhaps you are now. Maybe you are new to this or it is just a difficult season of mothering. My prayer for all of us is that we would take these truths and stick them in our pocket. 

And when the world is screaming loudly to us, we would hear granddaddy’s voice whispering to us the truth in his strong, wise voice “Don’t you go believe’n’ that guy…. Your children are a gift.”

For when you don't think you live up to the Mother's Day card....

"She wants something from me that I don't have."  


I spoke the words to my husband as I melted into tears. They dripped onto the pink blanket holding my first born, only days old. I wiped my tears away and held her closer, but it didn't change my certainty that I couldn't do this mom thing. 
 Those words summed up everything I felt about being a mom: Inadequate, unable, weak. In that moment I was an inconsolable, emotional mess as postpartum hormones and lack of sleep reduced me to a puddle. The only thing I could see in my reflection was my incredible lack, my absolute inability. 


But I was wrong. 


 My husband, who always seems to know just the right thing to say (though he'll totally deny it), said ever so wisely, "She just wants you."

That thought scared me even more. Me? No, not with my imperfections and failings. Then I was certain I would fail....  


Yet it was true. 


Even now she just wants me, my love, my attention. I can tell by the "Mom, watch this!" Or the "Can I tell you about my day?" as she recounts each moment for a second time through. In this world of perfectly portrayed Pinterest moms, it's easy to hear my inadequacy whispered to me again.  Yet I have seen the simple gift of watching, listening, loving and being with her is enough. 
Dear sweet mom, your child just wants you. 
I wish I could say I have always given myself unselfishly. At times I have given what little I do have begrudgingly and fearfully. Begrudging my lack of sleep, time, or energy, I hold back. Or, with paralyzing fear, I withhold my heart knowing one day she will realize I am not the best mom in the world. In those moments, I have to remember that there is no greater love than when one lays down his life and that his grace is made perfect in weakness. He gives me all that I need for life and godliness and reminds me of his own love for me that is utterly sacrificial and freely given without condition. What little I do have is meant to be given and poured out in love and service to those the Lord has placed in my life even if there is no return or reward. 


In my selfish moments, she has joyfully accepted and forgiven my selfishness without a second thought. I have learned so much watching her love me. (She totally gets it from her daddy.) 


But I was also right. She does want something I don't have, that I can't give her.



One day in the not too distant future she will wake up to the fact that I am not the greatest mom ever. That I am finite and full of imperfections. That I can't give her or be everything that she needs.... because she was made for something more.



She was made for God. She needs so much more than I can give her. Instead of being weighed down by fear of that moment, I hope when it comes to gloriously point her to the One this life is all about. 




I can't fill her up but I know who can. 




I know the fountain of living water that never runs dry. I know where to lead her because I have been before and I know the way, as I go daily, hourly, moment by moment... to the Lord.

To our Creator. To our Savior. 


Because I can't give her all that she needs, but that's ok because HE can.



Perhaps this Mother's Day you are quite certain your children want something from you that you don't have. So I'll say this.

You are totally wrong. And you are totally right. 


As you go through this day, I pray you find yourself giving all that you have to your sweet babies without selfishness or fear. And, when you find yourself to not be enough, that you will point them to HIM who hung the stars and formed the oceans because He is enough and that is really all that matters.